There will always be troubles

Good Morning everyone, 

Yes, there will always be troubles for us. It may be cancer or the stock market, or loss of a job, but the only certainty comes from knowing that this life isn't ever going to be close to perfect. 

So it's not about the ability to avoid problems, because we can't,  it's how we face uncertainty and solve the problems that come along in life. We can't even be sure we will recognize the problems on the horizon. We may worry needlessly, or we may never see the silent unseen problem until it's too late. 

So as we move past the two year mark since diagnosis, we are only certain that cancer isn't obvious right now. It may be there, silently doing its worst, or it many never be a part of our life again. We just don't know. 

So we choose to have faith in God's plan for us and give him praise for promising that this life isn't all there is and we look forward to an eternity without sickness or fear. 

Our lives are close to what they were before cancer, with a doctor's visit once in a while and the physical reminders. But we know so many people that are going through what we experienced just a year or so ago. Sara Schuster is a local high school girl with squamous cell carcinoma of the larynx. Lori Niemeyer with breast cancer, just now facing chemo. A friend with leukemia, and more. 

There are those in harms way, or soon to be. Perhaps our nephew Kevin in Afghanistan,  Chad Davis in the Marines, and our son-in-law going to Korea. 

So all we know for sure is we have faith in God. We see him in every flower, all the beautiful sunsets and sunrises, and in the smile of every little girl and boy. We see God touching people to comfort them and heal them. God knows our every hurt and fear. He knows us even better than we know ourselves, and if we have doubts, he understands. 

We believe in love, electricity and the gentle breeze that makes the trees sway. So too, we have faith in the unseen merciful God.

God Bless. 

Almost a Year

Good Morning.

The New Year is here and it was last January that Deb finished her radiation treatments.

The change in her endurance and strength has been noticeable and welcome. As an example, Daughter Kathie, her Husband Jim and their German exchange student Nini were here on Monday and we walked about two miles from the train station to Michigan Avenue and finally to the John Hancock building, with a tour of Macy’s on State Street and other various stores along the way. Deb seemed tired after the long day, but bounced back well the next day.

Deb continues to visit the surgeon and oncologist every quarter, and so far all is well.

Before Deb was diagnosed it seemed that we were only vaguely aware of cancer other than statistics. Even when aware of the presence of cancer in acquaintances or their family, it never seemed to register with us for all the heartache, life changing reality and pain it causes to so many people.

Then, sometimes there is good news. Georghi is cancer free and does not even have to have follow up for a year! She had leukemia. All looked grim for her, but through a miracle cure she is well after bone marrow transplants, transfusions and chemotherapy all were given to her.

Sometimes we have to have faith. Faith is not believing in the impossible, but instead believing in something that offers tangible or circumstantial evidence to support our faith, but leaves room for doubt. Once the outcome is certain, faith is no longer possible or needed.

Deb and I believe in the unseen. We have faith in the goodness of God and his perfect plan. “For now we see indistinctly, as in a mirror, but then face to face (with God we shall see clearly). Now I know in part, but then I will know fully, as I am fully known”. Paul was talking about faith in God. Paul never saw God, but had a close encounter. His faith was real.

Someday we will have a perfect understanding of all this and incredible joy in that knowledge.

Until then we will struggle when doubt assumes control, then have times when everything seems to be wonderful and hope and faith abound.

Dan

Watch and Wait

Hello from the end of fall, beginning of winter. Our temps have been in the 30’s and it won’t get much better until next spring, I’m afraid. We’ve been working in the yard to get everything put away for winter and the snow shovels out and ready for action. We wait for the stillness of winter, a time to reflect and relax, even with the busy holidays coming soon. Thanksgiving is two weeks from tomorrow and Christmas is but four weeks after. Oh, and the paper mentioned this morning that in one week, Alaska will have its last sunset of 2008.

If winter is slumber and spring is birth and summer is life, then autumn rounds out to be reflection. It is a time when the leaves are down and the harvest is in and the perennials are gone. Mother Earth has closed up the drapes on another year and it’s time to reflect on what’s come before. Mitchell Burgess

Although glad for the grain, we areAware of the husk.And winter closes on us like a shroud. - Philip Larkin

This is an odd time for Deb and me. When she doesn’t feel well, she suspects the worse possible causes. Of course she does. My guess is that anyone in similar circumstances would feel the same, have the same fears. But it does fray our otherwise ebullient nature.

The psychology of this time for us is interesting to me, certainly a lay person without any special knowledge, but to see Deb question the very value of her life in reflection of her almost fifty years on planet Earth. What legacy will she have and what mark had she made in the lives of those family members and friends who have known her best?

We see ourselves as merely a tiny dot on the time line of forever, our coming and going causing not even a ripple and becoming a footnote in the family tree within a generation or two.

The real truth is that we know, with a certainty beyond words, our purpose here isn’t to invent a wonder drug or be famous or infamous, as the case may be, but to be the best friend, spouse, sibling, aunt or daughter possible, completing the task we were designed for at the creation of the universe.

So often I’ve compared my life to those others that I see as significant during my life, with the feeling that I’ve fallen short in my potential. Sort of weighed in the balance and found wanting, to coin a phrase. If only it were that simple. Some day, not here of course, we will finally see what our life has meant to others. What word spoken without thinking changed a life, what smile or hug, in a fleeting moment, given without thought, brought unusual joy to someone who desperately needed a lift just then.

So, we continue to pray for guidance, asking that we be given opportunities to help and love others. So they may know someone cares very much. For as we were created in the image of God, we pray that we emulate his love and caring in this sometimes unloving and uncaring world we live in.

May all who visit us here give thanks for the bounty we enjoy in America and celebrate the birth of a child over two thousand years ago who changed the world.

God Bless.

Happy Fall!

Hello everyone,

Deb’s medical exams continue to be unremarkable. She still visits the oncologist and surgeon every few months.

I’m reminded in this financial debacle that most of what we’re loosing is paper worth. Of course if your 63 like I am, the period for recovery is shorter, but most people will be able to ride this out and recover nicely.

The mind set we see too often now promotes hoarding our treasures. When I see what happened to my parent’s and grandparent’s property and stuff in just a short time after they left, I realize all over again that the things of this life are temporary and when we leave, everything goes back in the box, like finishing a game of monopoly. No matter how well you do in the game, the board is cleared when the game ends.

I have three treasures. Guard and keep them:The first is deep love,The second is frugality,And the third is not to dare to be ahead of the world.Because of deep love, one is courageous.Because of frugality, one is generous.Because of not daring to be ahead of the world, one becomes the leader of the world.

Lao-tzu (604 BC - 531 BC), The Way of Lao-tzu


This weekend looks to provide some hint of the weather to come. There will be days next March that fifty degrees will seem balmy, but not yet in October. The seventies and eighties are too fresh in our memory. The leaves are falling and soon everything will take on the gray of the season. We will revel in the solitude and peace of our winter cocoon for a few months until the promise of spring is realized in a riot of color and southern winds.

Peace

Good News

Hi everyone.

The dermatologist's office called Wednesday afternoon to say that all my pathology was negative for cancer. I have to keep using the cream for the spots on my arms and head, but there is no need for further surgery. I'll continue to get a general exam once a year.

So, I'm not sure what this means. Did they over diagnose? Did my hearing fail me that day? Did God miraculously heal me? I'm not sure I'll ever know but thanking God is never a bad idea, so Thanks, Dad.

Deb seems to be doing well, and both of us are enjoying this beautiful weather. It's the last really warm spell before fall, so with the temps in the mid to high seventies, and no rain, it is just a great time to be alive.

It's Friday and as most of you do, we are excited about two days to rest and recharge. Our prayer list keeps growing. Deb's Aunt Mary had her shoulder replaced last week and Georgi is still battling leukemia, while her husband isn't allowed to visit her because he has shingles.

Deb and I started large group studies with our church, The Chapel. Deb is doing the Beth Moore study and I'm doing Men's Fraternity.

Somewhere in your circle of friends and family, there is someone who would be thrilled with a call or visit from you. Don't delay because it's always later than you think. Hug your child or spouse for no reason except you love them. Let them be comforted by your approval, acceptance and love.

God Bless
Dan

Not Just another Pretty Face anymore

Ok, now the secret is out. Today I went to the dermatologist, and was give the diagnosis of two kinds of skin cancer and an area on my arms and head that is pre-cancerous.

I have several patches of actinic keratoses on my arms and scalp, the earliest stage in the development of skin cancer. The treatment is with a topical chemotherapy to start. I’ll use it for three weeks and then be re-examined. Effudex maycause burning, itching and pain because my skin will become “very red, irritated and swollen” like a bad sunburn. Oh boy, that’s something to look forward to.

On my right cheek, I have a basal cell carcinoma. The doctor removed a lot of it today to have sent for a pathology report. Basal cell is the most common type of skin cancer,usually a small fleshy bump on the head, neck or hands. Yup, that’s what I had there.

Not to be a piker about this, I also have a patch of squamous cell carcinoma on the tip of my left ear.. That is the kind of cancer that can spread and is more likely to be a big deal if not treated quickly. A chunk of my ear was ripped off for a pathology screening. Well, it did seem like it was ripped off to me..

Within the next two weeks I’ll hear more and it’s possible I’ll need surgery, which will be an outpatient deal.

This all happened today, so with the bandages on my face, neck and ear; I look like I took second place in an ax fight.

I came home wanting to eat, I was so hungry. We have tomatoes out of the garden and fresh apple pie.

I’m not making light about this, but I’m confident everything will be fine and will work out soon. God is still in control, last I looked.

Deb is doing very well. She still works and cooks and does laundry and the other thousand things that make her so wonderful. She has her ups and downs too, but she is a rock.

We go to the Chapel now and have started to make friends and enjoy it much more. God is doing something special there.

We miss some of our old friends a lot, but hope to see them soon.

My buddy Jack had three surgeries in a month for cancer on his right hand. He seems to be doing well, but we still pray for him and Dee.

Kathy Adler, Ben, Eric and Uncle John all battle cancer too. We all need to pray for relief for them and peace for their families.

This is a time when all of us need to reach out to the suffering. A phone call, a letter or card, or most of all a visit and a hug would do more than any medicine for those who are hurt, ill, depressed or struggling with life in general.

More about Deb and Dan soon.

God bless everyone.

Staring into Space

Hi everyone,

Nothing earth shattering here. Deb visited the radiation oncologist, and he said he didn't want to see her again for a year. Things seem to be well, although you always have that feeling that something could be creeping up on you.

Kathi, my eldest is on Facebook, and put this quote on her site.

To laugh often and much, to win the respect of intelligent people and the affection of children; to earn the appreciation of honest critics and endure the betrayal of false friends; to appreciate beauty, to find the best in others; to leave the world a bit better, whether by a healthy child a garden patch or a redeemed social condition; to know even one life has breathed easier because you've lived. This is to have succeeded. (Emerson)

Interesting. Do we take life so seriously because we're conditioned from childhood to worry about things. How much we weigh, our financial condition, our children's success, or lack thereof.

Why do we substitute another worry for one that resolves. And why do we worry about things that have such a low statistical probability of actually happening?

I'm sure as time move by we will get better at this worry thing. Deb's doing very well, and we thank God for his grace and mercy.

We tried to get a student this year but the school would only take the two already committed to RBCHS, so we will wait until next year. We get some great notes from some of the exchange students. Nele, Kathi's student from 06/07 wrote to me, a sweet note. Kathi is going to Germany (with Jim) in October and will visit Nele. Masha wrote to tell us about the Georgian crisis and relate some of the Russian spin. No matter where you go life spins.

Strider the wonder dog and Gabby still keep us amused. We have great friends, a terrific church and good jobs. Even with the long prayer list for all those who are ill, there are so many people we know that are doing fine.

Please share your love with others. Give out hugs like they were campaign promises, often and without thought. Call someone just to say hello. Make them smile.

God Bless.