Tuesday, January 29, 2008

Mercy

Hi All,

In every life, most of us probably remember when time seemed to stand still. Think of when you were six years old and Christmas was five days away. Or think about waiting outside the principals office or watching your wife in labor with your first child. Waiting for you teenage son or daughter to call a half hour after they were supposed to be home.

Time for me stood still on April 17th, 2007, when Deb called in tears to give me the news that she had a positive biopsy. Since then, all I've wanted was to get through all the treatment, starting with the Chemo, then the surgery and finally the radiation. Each one causing damage and scaring, both physical and phychological, to someone so many of us love.

She is really a trooper. I couldn't go on day by day with the patience and grace she exhibits through all this. Her chest and back look like a cooked lobster. She is losing skin under her left arm from the radiation burns, in spite of all the various creams and lotions we use to prevent just that. When she lifts her left arm the pain is exquisite. The only time it feels OK is when she doesn't use it. And she is not supposed to use her left arm anyway, so that lymphedema doesn't occur. This is, of course, after all the side effects of chemotherapy and the trauma of surgery.

And it goes on. Problems for a while getting blood drawn. Finally she is sent to the infusion center where the nurses are able to draw it from her medi port.

Deb isn't thrilled with the photo of both of us I put on the blog. But, if you compare it with the others you can see how all of this has affected her. I, of course, still look totally handsome and hot.

Her hair continues to come in, but slowly. Her nails are growing out, so her fingers will look better as time passes. She is tired most of the time.

But, she is nice to everyone. She is patient, flexible, tolerant, easy to dance with :)

Why do some people get it and others don't have a clue?

Jonah was one. You'd think after getting barfed up on the shore of Nineveh by a big fish, he'd realize this was a second chance from above. So he takes a three day walk through Nineveh preaching God's word by God's direction. He goes up on a hill to watch God destroy Israel's greatest enemy but nothing happens. Then he sees that all the people of Nineveh, including the king, have repented. God spares them. But Jonah is disappointed. He wanted fire and brimstone, an eye for an eye. He misses the point that God loves us all, even our enemies, and wants us to love them too.

What does this have to do with Deb's cancer treatment? I have no idea. But I love the story of second chances and God's love for all of us. It's repeated so many times in history. Makes even a cynical guy like me think there is hope.

Please remember Deb in your prayers. This has been so trying for her. Danny is still treating and fighting his cancer, please continue to pray for him. The Kattner twins are home, but still very vulnerable.

I appreciate everyone who takes the time to read this blog. I love that some of you have expressed to me or Deb you like reading it. It is a good outlet for me to dissipate some of the stress that builds watching Deb endure all of this.

I love happy endings, fewer goodbyes and more hellos, Deb's meatloaf and coconut creme pie. Thank God the radiation is over this week.

God Bless
Dan
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